I´ve been avoiding this post for a couple of days now. The thought of abandoning this Blog again crossed my mind for a second.. or a few. I was just kind of embarrassed because I fucked up… Oh the irony!
Well, I´m here, walking through one of my many walls of fear. And even if I know those walls are not real they certainly feel very real to me. That´s not important anymore.
Just to put you in context, I´m learning how to have a healthy relationship with food and shit ´cause I have the tendency to binge when something or nothing happens in my life. Ok, back to this feared post:
-Friday I decided not to exercise but I didin´t meditate. I was feeling like in a rush and hungry so I don´t remember what I ate, I just know it was a lot.
-Saturday I didn´t exercise and didn´t meditate. My meals of the day were:
- Usual smoothie and coffee
- Raw veggie salad with large serving of rice and beans, a meatball, avo and cheese
- A couple of Bliss Balls
- I went to my bestie´s birthday party so I don´t honestly know how much I ate. It wasn´t as bad as Friday, tho.
-Today I spent 40 minutes skating on ice, which I hadn´t done in more than a couple of years, so that was fun. My meals of the day were:
- Steamed veggies with cheese and beans (weird breakfast, I know)
- Fruit with yogurt and cottagge cheese
- Usual cup of coffee
- Then I couldn´t stop eating again. And it was a lot… again.
I´ve been on this page before. I´m gaining awareness, though; an wareness I didn´t have before, but still, I´m failing on the same spots as usual.
I´m still NOT gonna stop trying. It´s kinda heart crushing, yes. But I have to go on. If I don´t, then this is never going to be worth going through. If I don´t keep going I´m gonna regret it for the rest of my life.
So this are some of my mistakes and weaknesses. They may not seem like a big deal to you, but they are to me. And now I´ll take them as I always do and try to accept them as a part of myself but not as who I am.
Accept and then let go. Sounds easy, right?
I´m not perfect. I´m not enlightened or completely at peace with myself, yet. But I´m on the right path and as I told you on my main Blog Page I want to share with you a piece of me. So I´ll start small and I´ll keep that promise with you and myself.
I wish you all Peace and Love, always. Thank you cool people ❤